What Do You Want Your Child to Learn…

My daughter has a lot of learning difficulties, but they do not extend into the area of language arts. Actually, her language skills are so well developed that they mask her needs. So, I was dismayed when I went to a parent-teacher meeting for 7-year-old Marissa and learned that she was failing spelling. She is a great speller and, in fact, she was in the spelling bee that year. When I got home, I confronted Marissa. She dismissed my concerns and stated bluntly, “Of course I’m failing spelling. I don’t do my spelling homework. Spelling homework is for kids that don’t know how to spell and have to practice. I know how to spell.”

Speechless ~ dumbfounded ~ flabbergasted even!! I said something lame about doing your homework because the teacher had told you to, but I couldn’t really argue with her logic. In fact, if I was truthful, I kind of agreed with her. Because, although Marissa is gifted in language arts, much of the rest of what we consider traditional education leaves her a bit perplexed. Fifteen basic math problems would take her up to an hour to complete! After an hour of math, why should we spend more time doing homework that did not prove to add value?

I learned a great lesson from my daughter that day. There are things more important in life than grades. That was hard for me to swallow. A perfectionist at heart, and from a young age, I always tried to get an A. I would re-write papers before I turned them in. Oh, not because I was correcting an error, I just wanted to make them look neater.

I came by my perfectionist tendencies honestly, my dad suffers from perfectionism too. What might well be part of my natural genetic tendencies was nurtured by my dad. I remember once bringing home a report card in which I had gotten a grade of 98% in history. My dad, unimpressed, told me that if I had tried harder, I could have gotten 100%. He wasn’t being harsh, he truly felt that you should always strive for perfection. It was part of his work ethic; his strongly held conviction. He demonstrated his love by pushing us to be the best that we could be.

The truth is that there are many things that our kids need to know before leaving our home that are not taught as part of the regular school day. The deal with roots by Diana Waring reminds us all the importance of giving our children a spiritual foundation and identity.

I have become uncomfortable with the term homeschool. I don’t know what term might be better, but I think it is a term that is too small for what I see as my role. If I am going to spend the entire day with my children, I want them to learn more than reading, writing and arithmetic. I have met many young people who have a lot of book knowledge and don’t have a relationship with God or their family. I have met many young adults that are on a career fast-track and lack character.

I don’t lack vision in this area, I know that what I want most is for my daughter to grow in grace and wisdom. What is unclear is a plan. I am a product of public school and it is only through great mental effort that my days do not mimic a day at public school day at home.

I am open to advice and mentoring in this area ~