The Princess Bride

The Lord said of Solomon, “I will be a father to him and he will be a son to Me; when he commits iniquity, I will correct him with the rod of men and the strokes of the sons of men.” (2 Samuel 7:14, NAS) Perhaps, this verse explains why many interpreters of Scripture identify King Lemuel as Solomon. Lemuel means “for God” or “dedicated to God.” Could Lemuel have been a name Solomon used to identify himself? History doesn’t tell us. But what is certain, Proverbs 31 reflects the loving counsel of a wise mother to her royal son, the wisdom of a Godly mother. Could this woman have been Bathsheba?

Generally, when I read a commentary on Proverbs 31, it is written as a prescriptive list of things a perfect woman must do in order to be virtuous. This understanding takes this section of scripture out of context. I won’t deny that this passage can be studied as a guide for women, but I think it comes into clearer focus when we study it in context of the rest of the chapter, a mother speaking wisdom into her son’s life.

The Jewish mother is often characterized negatively. She is seen as nagging, controlling and over involved in her child’s life. But the Bible teaches that mothers have a vital, important role in developing their children’s spiritual life and character. Very often in the Old Testament when the character of a king is labeled good or bad, the pronouncement is heralded along with the name of the king’s mother. I am reminded of Eunice, Timothy’s mother. Eunice was married to a Greek man. Looking closely at the text, Timothy’s father was Greek by birth and practice. He was not a Jewish proselyte; he was a pagan. Yet Paul records:

For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.~ 2 Timothy 1:5 (NAS)

From childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. ~ 2 Timothy 3:15 (NAS)

I know that many will intellectually disagree with me, but I don’t think “The Virtuous Woman” is a real woman. Before I got married, I had paradigm, a mind-picture, of my perfect future husband. At nearly 16 years-old, my teenage daughter has one now too. When I was young, my mind picture included very few character traits. I wanted a man who was incredibly handsome and put me on a pedestal. As I aged, I realized looks are fleeting and men who put you on a pedestal tend to walk away and leave you there. Before I married my current husband, my perfect man was a man who loved the Lord, loved his family and worked hard. It is my belief that “The Virtuous Woman” described in Proverbs 31 reflects a mother encouraging her son to develop a picture of his future bride that values character over beauty. It speaks of what men should look for in when choosing a wife.

“She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. ” ~Proverbs 31: 19 – 21 (NAS)

If I am correct in my analysis of this chapter, the woman of Proverbs 31 would be a princess, someone suitable to marry into a royal family. In our culture, women of wealth and privilege sometimes don’t seem to develop much character. Recently, we have been inundated with stories out of Hollywood of young stars who have lost their way. As I was thinking through these specific verses, I was reminded of this line from the movie Overboard (1987) with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Goldie Hawn’s character is rich and spoiled.

You don’t have a single thing to do on this earth except for your hair!

Despite her wealth and privilege, the perfect bride would be a woman who applied herself to developing her talents. Obviously, a princess would not need to spin her own yarn. But, she does. She applies herself to becoming skillful in technical work. She is not lazy, frivolous, demanding or spoiled. The perfect bride uses her wealth and position to help the poor and the needy. She doesn’t indulge her flesh. I would suspect that most of my readers are in the top 2% of the wealthiest people in the world. We are women of wealth and privilege.

“She is not afraid of the snow…”

From my New Year’s Letter, “I have misunderstood winter as a time of death, hardship and inactivity. The harvest is done, snow insulates and protects and winter is a wonderful gift: a time to rest, heal and plan. The stillness of winter need not be a gloomy reminder of lost dreams; it is a time of opportunity.” The perfect bride seeks and appreciates the quiet times that allow her to reflect, plan and connect with her Creator.

For the first time when I read, “for all her household are clothed with scarlet,” I claimed it as a promise: all my children will be covered with the scarlet blood of Christ.

Last, the church in her fullness is also called a bride. We are to be admirable, capable and charitable, ever bringing honor to our Saviour.

From my daughter, “Make sure that you don’t recommend Overboard. There is cussing and all of the clothes are not modest. Some people might not want to watch it.”

This weeks “In ‘Other’ Words” hosted by
Nina of Mama’s Little Treasures

Be sure to visit her site to read her thoughts and find links to other women’s interpretations of this quote ~