My Husband Is So Smart

We are in the process of changing the locks on our home. We moved in 5 years ago and every door in our home had a different key. I hated the locking mechanism because you could easily open a locked door from inside the home but when you walked out and closed the door it remained locked. I cannot tell you how often I locked myself out. We installed a locking key box in the garage and put a key to the door leading from the garage into the kitchen, but that key must have gotten a little bent. The last time we tried to use it, it didn’t work. We were locked out of our home at 11 o’clock at night. We had to break in to our own house. So, we are upgrading so that when you open the door from the inside, the door unlocks and all the keys will be the same, identical, there will be no difference! Novel concept indeed…

David and Beverly have been “helping” Dad. Did you know that a 2- and 4-year-old aren’t really great helpers when you are doing something that has small, easily lost parts? I told them not to touch twenty times before Ron fixed the problem. He gave them an old lock of their own. I could have said, “Pa touche,” a thousand times and it wouldn’t have worked nearly as well as allowing them to explore. Beverly and David are schooling; they are in “Home Repairs and Improvements 101.” Beverly has already learned the difference between a flat head and a Phillip’s head screw driver and has learned to turn the screw counter-clockwise to loosen it. She has naturally great mechanical skills. (Irritatingly, she was also born organized and informed me this morning that my laundry was “plen.”)

When I came downstairs I had intended on just posting a photo of the kids. But, then I read Kari’s blog entry today, Beyond Consequences - running away, and realized that Ron had “tried differently.” His alternative was creative and smart. The kids are happily doing exactly what their parents asked them to do. No voices were raised. And, most importantly, no parts were lost.

Our own fear keeps us in a constricted place, locked in from seeing other alternatives. Fear keeps us in a loop of trying harder, “upping the ante,” and driving more consequences in order to get our children to behave and to be compliant ~ Beyond Consequences

People raising children with FASD are supposed to know this. One of the mantras of people involved in raising and caring for children with FASD is, “Try differently not harder.” Why is creative parenting so much harder when the stakes are higher? I think that the author of this article hit the nail on the head, fear.

For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

The problem is, of course, that I know this verse. It is the implementation I am having trouble with.