Shanan Trail

Entries categorized as ‘Adoption Update’

Settling In

13 June 2008 · 12 Comments

I have been unusually busy. Not only have I added a toddler and a preschooler to the family, but it is graduation time in Minnesota, which means a lot of open houses for the honored graduates. My nephew graduated and his open house was last Saturday. Since my nephew was graduating, my mom came to visit. She was here for a week and the kids loved Grandma. Now, I have to race Beverly to the phone whenever it rings. She is always sure that my mom will be on the phone. Since she doesn’t speak English, it is kind of tough for anyone to understand her, but she doesn’t seem to mind. She just chats away to the caller until I come to relieve her of the phone.

Then on Wednesday, both David and Beverly had an appointment at the University of Minnesota’s International Adoption Clinic. I am afraid the findings were not too good. Beverly is very ill. She has acute Hepatitis B. Her liver function tests are all out of whack. Luckily, she is feeling good. Sadly, almost half of kids younger than 5 who are infected with Hepatitis B will develop a chronic infection. This puts them at risk for cirrhosis and liver cancer later in life. We have another appointment on June 20th to meet with a pediatric liver specialist. She needs to have an ultrasound of the liver done prior to the appointment. I am hoping to schedule it the same day and save myself another 2 1/2 drive to the cities. Oh, the first 2-hours are fine; it is the last 30 minutes when I am driving downtown that is a little nerve wracking. I don’t think there is anything I like less than driving in rush-hour traffic. I guess I have lived in a small city a bit too long. I think rush hour is having to wait for 5 cars before being able to execute my turn.

David’s thyroid stimulating hormone is elevated. The most likely cause of this is an iodine deficiency. So, David has to increase the amount of salt in his diet. I haven’t had any trouble feeding David, so I think that I can manage this.

Both children have parasites, two each. They have Giardia intestinalis and Blastocystis hominis. They also both are infected with Helicobacter pylori, a bacteria which is a common cause ulceration of the stomach and duodenum. So, we will be starting medication to kill them. The specialist at the U of M wants to treat the children prophylactically for an ulcer rather than scoping them to get a definitive diagnosis. My insurance company thinks not. Of course, this all came to a head Friday afternoon. I would be upset about it except now I have the weekend to pray, think about and weigh the pros and cons of each treatment option. After we get rid of the parasites, I need to start both children on iron as they are both a little anemic.

Since we are working our way to normal, I drafted a schedule that gives me one-on-one time with each child. Marissa is the hardest to work in because she is now away from the house for 20 hours a week. I miss her, but she is so excited to be working. When she opened her first paycheck, she was thrilled. She opened it slowly and exclaimed, “I feel like Charlie opening the candy bar to look for a golden ticket!” Marissa also finally, finally, finished the didactic part of her Driver’s Education. I requested a certificate from the state verifying completion of the course so that she could register with a certified instructor. I didn’t think I was emotionally ready for my child to be driving, but now that she works until 10 or 11 at night, I am beyond thrilled that I soon will not have to drag myself out of bed to go pick her up. I will probably still drag myself out of bed to make sure she is home, but that isn’t the same thing.

Categories: Adoption Update · Around the House · Prayer Request

Home Again, Home Again

26 May 2008 · 30 Comments

… and all things have become new!

I can only blog for as long as Beverly and David nap. So, we will see if I finish before they wake up.

Day 1: Beverly and David meet Ron.

Beverly meets Papa!

David meets Papa!

We landed in Port-au-Prince and Samuel drove us immediately to Dr. Bernard’s office. Our children were peering through the glass door waiting for us. They looked so cute. Ron was quite impressed when they called him, “Hey Papa!” right from the beginning. But then, he went to the orphanage. Every child there called him Papa. In fact, they called every adult male Papa. So, his ego was a little deflated, but the kids really do adore him. After meeting our kids, we went to the orphanage so that the kids could say goodbye to their nannies and their friends.

Day 2: We relaxed at the Guest House. What a great day.

David and Papa watch a soccer game ~
David and Dad watched a soccer game. 

I am a little warm ~
Beverly played with a $0.99 fan that I brought for the kids.

A blue one for David and a pink one for Beverly. They liked those better than any of the other toys or books I brought. Sadly, they weren’t meant to be thrown, turned on and off a thousand time or have the batteries removed and “gently” replaced many, many times a day. By the next morning neither fan worked. But, they were fun while they lasted.

Day 3: The most important day of our trip!

Beverly's Mom
Beverly and her mom.

David's Mom
David and his mom.

Many people choose international adoption because they don’t think that they can handle having to deal with the birth families. I chose New Life Link because of their policy allowing adoptive and biological families to meet. I am a Christian and it is my intent to line up my thinking with God’s revealed word. A mother in the Bible is the most revered of all women. The word mother is first used in Genesis 2:24. The Hebrew word that is underneath the English word translated mother is ‘em. In Hebrew it is spelled ALEPH MEM-SOFIT. Mem is the thirteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The Hebrew letter mem symbolizes water and is associated with a womb. Just like the waters of baptism symbolize spiritual birth, so too the waters in the word translated mother symbolize the womb and physical birth. The womb is the fountain of life in which a baby develops enveloped by life-giving water. The numerical value of mem is 40. Rabbinic Judaism teaches that there are 40 days from conception to formation of the fetus. Interestingly, 40-days is the earliest day that brain waves can be recorded in the fetus. And, of course, there are 40 weeks of gestation until birth. My children only have one mother, the woman whose body nurtured theirs for 40-weeks. I am their parent. My behavior and attitude toward my children’s mothers must always reflect their honored position in my children’s life. It was an honor to meet with them and allow them to share their dreams for their children with us. I was thrilled when both women said that what they wanted most was for their children to love and serve the Lord.

Day 4: We flew out of Port-au-Prince and landed in Miami. We stayed the night in Miami and headed home the next day. While we were in Miami we learned that our children’s restaurant behavior needs major work. We will be eating at home for a LONG time!!!

Obligatory airport photo
Leaving Baggage Claims at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport


Souille!!!

David is thrilled that his friend, Stanley, lives close by!

Stanley was in the toddler boys room too and came home just one week before Beverly and David. His mom, dad and two sisters were among the group meeting us at the airport. It took the boys a few minutes, but soon there was a loud squeal, running, kicking, hitting, karate chopping and, finally, a great big hug. I am really, really glad that those of us adopting from Haiti have formed a close knit group on-line. Since our adoptions took so long to complete, our children are all very close. It will be nice to be able to stay in touch.

Their personalities:

Oh!

Beverly and Jude

Our home is now very, very, very loud. The kids are excited about light switches, running water, hand lotion, soap… you name it, even brushing their teeth. Any new discovery brings a squeal of delight that is echoed at twice the decibels by the other one. I hope I am saying it right; does anndann voi mean inside voice in Creole? If it does, I don’t think the kids understand the concept at all. David was walking through Walmart yelling, “Anndann voi, anndann voi,” at the top of his lungs. It made it quite easy to find my family when I got separated. The only trouble we have had is feeding the kids. All they really want to eat is bread and butter (in fact Beverly’s first English word is bread). They don’t really care a thing about the bread, but they love the butter! They lick it off before they even think about eating the bread. I am not sure they would eat it at all except I refuse to re-butter. Both kids have loose stools. David’s chest rattles and he has quite a bad cough. Except for David’s bedtime, we haven’t had any real problem… oh, except he didn’t want to wear his seatbelt when we were landing in Miami. He let everyone on the plane know that he was being forced to do something against his will. He is a bit stubborn and I think maybe he ran the toddler’s boys room. And, today, Beverly “helped” me by moving their plastic dishes onto the stove so I could dish up lunch. Sadly, she put them on a burner that was hot and they melted, ruining the dishes and the heating element.

Even with the excitement and no real naps on Saturday, getting to bed late after driving home from my husband’s parent’s home where we had picked up Marissa, Beverly and David were both up with the sunshine on Sunday morning which was way earlier than I was ready to be up. But, I got up. I did a horrible job keeping them quiet and soon Marissa was out to give me that look. Her alarm clock wasn’t set to go off until 6AM. But joy of joys, she didn’t need it! That look wasn’t a “I am thrilled to be awake enjoying the happy chatter of playing children” look though. It was more a crabby teenager who was telling me I was failing at mothering and I better come up with a better plan. This morning they slept until 6:30; we are making progress. But, Mama is very, very tired! And, Marissa has been a very, very good big sister!

I washed, conditioned, combed and braided Beverly’s hair today. It was much harder to do Beverly’s hair than I remember Marissa’s being. Marissa sat still. But, it turned out cute. I do need to get a bit faster though. It took almost 3 hours from taking down the old braids, bathing, to finished braids. Beverly asked me several times, “Finis?” Uh, no I am not… 

Edited to add: Beverly just woke up and I had to edit this with photos of her new doo! Thank you Snapaholics for the great how-to videos!

Veil in front
Front

Box braids in back
Back

 

 

Categories: Adoption · Adoption Update · Around the House · Family Matters

Tears of Joy

14 May 2008 · 21 Comments

After weeks of emailing the US Embassy in Haiti trying to find out about our kid’s immigration visas and hearing no reply, I contacted one of our Senators. A representative from his office sent an urgent email in April. No one responded. Monday night, in frustration, I went up the chain-of-command. No, I didn’t email President Bush or Condoleezza Rice! But, my email hit the right office. Tuesday morning, I had a response from the lady in Haiti.

And today:

Please be informed that we have extended appointments for the final immigrant visa interviews of these adoptive children to the C*****’ agent in Port au Prince.

Sincerely,
Adoptions Unit

Did you notice that there isn’t a date and time of the appointment? For those reading my blog for the sole reason of checking on my adoption because you are adopting from Haiti too. One of the things I did learn was:

“As you are probably aware, there is no legal or other requirement that adoptive parents travel to Haiti to attend the final immigrant visa interview. Because of the fluid security situation, we strongly suggest that adoptive parents wait for the visa(s) to be issued and in the hands of their adoption agent prior to traveling to Haiti to pick up their adoptive child or children. Please refer to the most recent information on Haiti at travel.state.gov.”

My husband is traveling this week and won’t be home until Friday. I have had my adoption coordinator wire money to Dr. Bernard’s bank account so that someone from the orphanage can pay for and pick up the children’s visas. When I hear that the visas are in their hot little hands, I will make travel arrangements to go down and pick up Beverly and David! While we are there, we will meet with both David’s and Beverly’s mother. I selected Newlife Link because the adoption process was transparent and open, unusual in International Adoptions. We will also visit the orphanage.

I will not be blogging until after I return home. I have a ton of stuff to do! Where is my mother when I need her? She is born organized and stays on task like no one I know. That’s not true, I married a man with the same quality. He is out of town too. I need to put on my professional, list-making, task-oriented self and get going. I am not at all comfortable with that person, but I lived her for almost 20-years. So, I guess I can do it for a week.

Our Dossier was in Haiti in the first week of September 2005; that means from start to finish our adoption took 33-months. When we started the time frame, from referral to bringing your children home, was typically 9 months. When we accepted our referral in December 2005, I was planning on kids by the following September 2006. My Dad died on September 1, 2006. My was that year different than what I planned.

I hope to return to blogging when I get back home. I enjoy writing; I find it relaxing and brain-stimulating. I don’t know how active I will be. Thank you all for your prayer coverage!

Categories: Adoption Update

No, but I have a blog.

9 May 2008 · 8 Comments

Many people raising children with FASD have a support group, personal care assistants or respite care. I don’t. When my Dad died and I didn’t want to pack my bag to go to the cities to plan his funeral, I wrote an entry on my blog instead. This past Christmas when I got depressed over not having my Haitian children home, I wrote all my feelings and frustrations out here.

Blogging can create an instant support system, especially at a time when you might not have the energy or resources to seek out people who’ve shared your experiences ~ Margaret Mason, Your blog can be group therapy

Blog therapy. Who knew?

In response to my recent post on the Trinity, Barbara wrote, “You can drown understanding in facts,” Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger (Benedict XVI) God and the World. Truthfully, I did understand the Trinity until I started studying it. More truthfully, I could get so tangled trying to understand the Trinity that I fail to see how God is working in my life right now. Knowing about God isn’t the same thing as submitting to God. But, then I read James Ellis III, OnThaGrindCuzin and he taught me about the mysterium tremendum.

That really resonated with me, this notion that in all we do know about God there is and always will be so much about Him that we misunderstand, fail to understand, or at the very least are perplexed by, for He has said, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are My ways your ways.” (Isaiah 55:8 – 9)

My readers and other blogs are my therapist, spiritual leaders, teachers and friends. Thanks! I wonder how much I would have to pay for that kind of support?

And now, a tag:

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Let’s see in May, 1998: I was a foster mom to Michelle. I lived in a small home in Parkland, WA. I was a Major in the US Army; I taught a 16-week Critical Care Course. In May I was hospitalized; I experienced the ICU from the patient’s vantage. What a wonderful experience! I was a much better nurse after that experience. I had developed post-streptococcal glomerulonephritis. That is a very fancy diagnosis that means my kidneys went on vacation after a nasty experience with group A beta-hemolytic streptococcus, strep throat. I cannot believe how fast my body let me down. I was healthy. On Monday, I couldn’t finish a 2-mile run. Tuesday, I got out of breath taking the elevator down to get my daily latte! (Yes, I did used to live the kind of life where spending $4.00 a day on a cup of coffee made perfect sense.) I used to tell my students when they complained that the tests were too hard that they had to be that way. “If I am ever the one laying in that bed I don’t want to open my eyes see your face and think, ‘Not them! Anyone but them; they’re an idiot.’” I was kind of kidding, but every military nurse assigned to care for me was a current or previous student. And, they did a marvelous job.

2. What are five things on your to-do list today?
Marissa and I do childcare during the Women’s Bible Study every Friday morning. I had thought I would write objectives and have Marissa learn about child development and count it as a Family & Consumer Science Class but I haven’t. So, we just consider it job training. Then, Marissa has a chiropractor appointment. Oh, and I am a part of a Yahoo Group that is reading Robin Sampson’s The Heart of Wisdom Teaching Approach. Our thoughts on our reading assignment are due today. Friday is usually pizza night, but we did pizza last night because Marissa had a dentist appointment yesterday and 4:15. She wasn’t brought back until almost 5:00. She wasn’t done until 5:30. I stopped at Papa Murphy’s on the way home. So, I have to think of something to cook for dinner. Last, on Friday we always watch a movie from Time Magazine’s Top 100 Movies. We will either watch Raging Bull or The Man with a Camera because those are the movies that arrived from Netflix. (Don’t forget to go to Robin’s blog and leave her some encouragement. She has been quite ill.)

3. What snacks do you enjoy?
I am afraid I like fried, salty things. 

4. What would you do if you became a billionaire?
I would hire an attorney, an estate planner and a financial person. I can’t even think in those kind of numbers. Can I become a billionaire without anyone else knowing? I wouldn’t want money if I had to have the “junk” that goes with it: the need for excess security measures, people taking photos of me to show America how the rich and famous live, and wondering if the people in my life are only there because I have money. I think I would give it away.

5. What are your bad habits?
Well, right now I am blogging when I am supposed to be getting ready to go. I procrastinate.

6. What is a basic tenet you live by? God is good all the time; if you fail to plan, you plan to fail; I cannot control my situations, but I can control how I respond to my situations. Oh, and my parenting tenet, all members in our family get to have all the freedoms for which they can responsibly manage.

7. What are the five most interesting jobs you have had?
Let’s see: I was a soda jerk. I loved that job because I had a few widowed men that came in every day for breakfast and conversation. I could make their meals and pour their coffee before the doors even opened. I worked the closing sale at Woolco. I worked in a gourmet deli and became a coffee and cheese snob. My favorite job was a bedside nurse. My most challenging role was nurse manager of a critical care unit.

Categories: Accidental Blogging · Adoption Update · Christianity · Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder

Blogiversary and A Picture

7 May 2008 · 12 Comments

Today is my blogiversary. I have been blogging for 2-years. Can you believe how much I have written? I am sure there are some readers who are saying, “Shut up already!” Well, the great thing about blogging is that while I always try to be respectful of other people’s opinions and thoughts, I am free to share my own. Those who don’t like what I say are free not to click in. I like my universe.

I am sorry I didn’t host a blog contest in honor of the day. Truthfully, I almost forgot. In lieu of a contest with a highly desirable prize, I will share my stats. Now, these stats only represent my blogging activity since transferring my blog to wordpress. I transferred all the posts from my old blog here. So, with the exception of the total number of posts, the totals represent only a years worth of data.

Top Posts

Burden of Proof or Internet ”Science”, 9,281 views

FASD, 3,115 views

About Me, 898 views

Top Searches

fetal alcohol syndrome,  bible story of hannah infertility,  pictures of children with fas

Blog Stats

Total Views: 43,311

Best Day Ever: 291 — Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Posts: 437

Comments: 1,550

I finally got April’s photo update. I do hope I don’t have to post another update for May. My husband recently emailed me from work to ask me if we had travel dates; he had been asked go on a road trip. As if! Here is the scoop, when I get the news, I will call my husband, call my mom and then come and post an entry. My blog readers are great prayer warriors.

Red, this seasons hot color!

Poor David! He looks like he is trying to tell me, “You said you loved me. That was almost a year ago. Why haven’t you come to get me yet?”

Categories: Accidental Blogging · Adoption Update