In my life prior to kids and my current husband, I was in the military, the Army Nurse Corps to be precise. I loved it for a time. I decided I wanted to be a mom. I was single. I chose to an adopt an older, waiting child. The risk of being deployed no longer fit my life. I resigned my commission and left the military. But, the Army was who I was for 13-years. I still write my dates with the day, then the month and, finally the year. I still call duct tape 100 mile an hour tape.
And, apparently, I still use “No Go.” For those uninitiated, whenever I attended military training, I would have to demonstrate competency. If I passed, I received a “Go.” If I needed remedial training, I got a “No Go.” Whenever my kids do something that is not quite up to standards, I tell them that is a “No Go!”
The kids have grown enough to reach almost every high place in my house. Remember I am only 5′ 2″. I don’t have really high places. And, they are smart and strong enough to pull over a chair for the few places that they can’t reach. It snowed on October 30th. It was still freezing cold on the 31st. I started with 105 pieces of assorted chocolates. We had six kids come to our home. The remaining 99 pieces of candy disappeared rather quickly. We were cleaning Beverly’s room and I found several empty candy wrappers stuffed under her bed. And, my baby, David asserted, “Beverly! That is an Oh-Go!”
David has pulled a few Oh-Go’s himself lately. I am currently trying to read Walter Brueggemann’s The Covenanted Self. I am finding the concepts in the book are very difficult to grasp. I think I am fairly bright; I am well-educated. So, I have decided the book is just poorly written. I have had to read chapters over and over to understand what is being communicated. Then, I have to decide whether or not I can find biblical support for Brueggemann’s assertions. It is a daunting undertaking.
Brueggemann refers to D. W. Winnicott’s, a pediatric psychiatrist, “good enough mother” and defines her as one “who acts out this devotion to the child by being fully attentive to and celebrating everything the baby does, from smile to burp to fart.” I am not that kind of mother. I have never felt children (or adults) get their sense of self from being praised for doing things that come naturally. I praise my kids when they do something that they have to work for. Perhaps, I need to increase my praising though. I hear several times a day, “Mom say, ‘Thank you Beverly.’” Or, from David, “Am I a good boy?” But, I believe David took seeking praise to a new, ridiculous level when I caught him with his hand in the cookie dough!
“You had too much cookie dough, so I ate some. Am I a good boy mommy?”
Then, David was pouting after Sunday school. His class consists of six 4-year-old boys. The teacher was having quite a bit of behavior problems in class. So, she made each boy a star book. If David is good, he gets a star. When he collects enough stars, he gets to select a cheap toy or pencil or sticker — those dumb things that motivate little kids to behave. David didn’t get to pick anything. He didn’t earn any stars and he was “be-habing and listening.” I asked him what he was learning about. He may not have been behaving, but I suspect he was listening, at least a little. He was learning about “John the Bathtub.”
Last, a wordless “Oh-Go.”
1. Leaving scissors out is an “Oh Go!”, 2. Playing with scissors is an “Oh Go!”, 3. Cutting your hair is a definite “Oh Go!”, 4. But, I look so cute with my bald fade.
